The Dangerous Trio!
At Sunny’s house, she checks her mail and receives a book. Sunny: Nice! Apparently, it’s called "The Rabbit". Let’s see what it is about! Sunny opens the book and begins reading. Sunny: Hang on. I get electrocuted, mauled by demons and bulldogs, blown up by a Rocket and THE RABBIT WINS?! WHO MADE THIS?! Sunny looks at the cover and it says "Created by Onion Cream. For Sunny." Sunny: THAT SON OF A B****! Sunny drives to Onion Cream’s house and knocks on the door. Onion Cream answers. Onion Cream: Hello- Sunny smacks Onion Cream in the face with the book. Onion Cream: OW! WHAT THE F***?! Sunny kicks Onion Cream to the floor and brutally beats him to death with the book. Sunny: That will teach you for writing a torture porn about me! Sunny drives back to the house and goes outside. She throws the book on the ground, pours gasoline on it and sets it on fire. Sunny: I’m buying stories from RH from now on. Sunny watches as the book burns into ash. The list of episodes of "CROSS-ING OVER Shorts!" is shown. RH’s arm crosses out the description for "The Rabbit!" and marks over it as NON-CANON. _________________________ CROSS-ING OVER Shorts! Synopsis: A criminal trio gang named The Dastardly Three are wrecking havoc in Pensacola. Sunny Funny becomes aware of this and decides to find out what they are planning. ________________________ The iris opens on a goomba, dry bone, and buzzy beetle walking on beat to the music. The Dastardly Three: (singing) When there’s a task that you want done, and you don’t want god to know... just put your trust in only one trio! Dry Bones: (singing) Because with Boney... Goomba: (singing) And Goombar... Buzzy Beetle: (singing) And Bett... The Dastardly Three: (singing) You know... that the Dastardly Three will always steal the show! The screen pans out as the three laugh. They begin to babble before the Narrator begins to speak. The screen transitions to two trees and a bush with each holding a wanted poster for all three members. Narrator: The Dastardly Three. A Dastardly, rag-tag group of criminals hell bent on disturbing the peaceful lives for the innocent. Many have tried to bring them to justice, but such a feat cannot be achieved without outdoing their mischief. After many years of running, it seems as if there is truly no hope in stopping them. Snoring is heard offscreen. Narrator: Unless... The shot pans to Sunny Funny, revealed to be the source of the snoring. She is napping inside of a bush. Boney: (offscreen) COME ON! Sunny: WHAT THE?! Sunny falls out of the bush. After shaking her head, she mutters to herself in frustration. Suddenly, she looks off into the distance in curiosity. Sunny: What is that? Sunny notices the gang members off in the distance. They are arguing amongst themselves. Sunny: Hmm... those three must be the ones making all that racket. I wonder what they’re up too? Boney: Come on, Bett, you’ve got four legs! Use them! Bett: I’m trying my best, Boney! Boney: Well, you’d better try harder! Because what you’re doing isn- Boney is cut off by offscreen whistling. The gang members go silent and turn to look back one by one. Sunny is revealed to be following them. Boney: Hey! Who are you? Goombar: What do you want? Bett: Are you a cop? Sunny: Hello, fellas! The name’s Sunny Funny! And what might you be up to? Boney chuckles. Boney: We was just headin’ over to gum the works over at the nearby gin mill. Sunny: Huh, you sure you fellas wanna do that? Couple of Old Timers like yourselves seem like you’d need quite a few drinks this time of day! “laughs” Boney: Hey! Who are you calling old? Goombar: Have some respect! Bett: Don’t you know who you’re talking to? Sunny looks them over. Sunny: Hmmm... Nope! Can’t say I recognize ya. Boney: We’re the Dastardly Three, you little half-wit! Sunny: Hm. Never heard of ya. The Dastardly Three: WHAT?! Boney: Of course you’ve heard of us! We’re the meanest, most diabolical troublemakers the world ever saw! Sunny: Nope! Can’t place ya. But I gotta admit, as a flower person myself, I’m always up for causing some laughs! What do you say I tag along with you geezers? The gang members exchange glances. They burst out in laughter as Sunny gets confused. Boney: Ha! You? Join us? Goombar: You don’t look much like a troublemaker to us! Bett: You wouldn’t stand a chance! “laughs” Boney: Why don’t you scram, kid? We’ve got business to take care of! Let’s go, fellas! The gang members begin to leave. Bett stays behind for a moment to stick his tongue out at Sunny before following the other two. Sunny: Hm... So, those geezers don’t think I’m good enough for them, huh? Well, I’ll just have to show em” what for, won’t I! “laughs” The screen fades out to the next scene. We see the outside shot of a bar. The three gang members are seen approaching. Boney: Alright boys, let’s get ready to party! They enter. Upbeat music plays as various characters such as SMG4, Bread Monster, RH, Culdee, Fishy Boopkins, Bob and Badman are seen drinking and chattering. The gang members walk through the crowd. The gang members take their seats at the bar. Boney knocks on the bar. (Note: The knocking is on beat with the music.) Boney: Hey! Anyone there? Knocking continues. Boney: Helloooooo? Sunny reveals herself from under the counter, wearing a comically fake bartender disguise. She spots something. She looks to the side to find that there are “WANTED” posters of the gang members. Sunny: Hmm... Sunny winks at the viewer, laughing. The scene cuts back to the gang members. Boney is still knocking. Boney: Doesn’t anyone work at this damn place? Come on! Sunny slides into frame with a phone held to her ear as she makes a call. Sunny: Just a second, good sir! Sunny slides back out of frame. Boney: Fine! Just hurry up, will ya? Sunny dashes to the gang members. Sunny: Hey there, pal! What’s a dastardly looking group of guy- Sunny is cut off. Boney: Cut the chatter, dimwit. Goombar: We’re not here for conversations! Bett: We just want drinks! Sunny pulls out a notebook and pen, ready to take orders. Sunny: Alright then. What’ll it be, folks? Boney: I’ll take a- Sunny suddenly smashes a bottle of liquor over Boney’s head. Boney shakes his head. Boney: Hey! What’s the big- Sunny smashes another bottle on his head. Boney: Stop tha- Yet another bottle. Sunny: Will that be all, sir? Boney: Why, you little... Boney goes to grab Sunny, who dashes away. Boney: Get her, boys! The other gang members give chase. Sunny hops across the tables in the bar, with the guests reacting accordingly. The gang members knock over tables in their pursuit. Sunny approaches a table with DBT Guy and Invertosis. She hops across Invertosis’ head and knocks DBT Guy on the the ground, spilling his drink. Sunny: Sorry! The chase continues. The crowd in the bar begin to panic. Sunny jumps across the piano. The pianist, Endless falls back in his stool as Sunny lands on a stool next to the piano. Bett stretches out a leg across the piano in an attempt to grab or punch Sunny. Sunny grabs the lid of the piano and slams it down onto Bett’s leg. Bett: AGHH!!! Sunny laughs as a fishing hook appears from offscreen. The hook grabs Sunny and whisks her away. Goombar is holding the fishing pole. Goombar: You’re finished, bartender! Sunny swings backwards. Sunny: Think again, gramps! Sunny spins around Goombar in a blur, tying him up in the process. Sunny jumps off the hook as Goombar falls to the ground. Sunny jumps off his head as the crowd cheers. Sunny lands on one of the few standing tables in the bar. Sunny: Well, that takes care of you fellas! Boney: (Offscreen) Don’t congratulate yourself yet, bartender! The shot pans to Boney, menacingly holding a pipe. Boney: Nobody outdoes the Dastardly Three and gets away with it! Sunny: Oh? Outdoes, you say? Boney: Yeah, did I stutter? Goombar: You need to calm down! Bett: We may be criminals, but we’re not psychos! Sunny: Well, that’s all I wanted to hear! Boney: Who the hell do you think you are? Sunny: I thought you’d never ask! Sunny removes her disguise and laughs. The Dastardly Three: YOU?! Sunny: That’s right, fellas! It’s just like I told ya, I’m a flower person! Tricking is our hobby! Boney: Why, you little runt! I’ll kill ya for disgracing us like this! ???: Not if we have anything to say about it! The gang members look around to find that the bar is full of the police officers that Sunny had called earlier. Simmons: Get em’ boys! The gang members scream as they are descended upon by the officers and beaten up as the screen fades out. The scene cuts back to the gang members in handcuffs. Brooklyn Guy: Thanks, kid! We’ve been trying to catch these guys for years! Sunny: Anytime, officer! The gang members kick and scream as they are dragged out of the bar. Sunny: (to the viewers) Remember, folks! Never let anyone tell you that troublemakers can’t do some good every now and then! Sunny then reaches into a pocket and pulls out Boney’s hat. She laughs as the screen irises out on her. _________________________ _________________________ Trivia * This marks the first appearances of The Dastardly Three who'd later appear in stories such as The Election!, Transport Heist and The Home Invasion!. Category:CROSS-ING OVER Shorts! Category:Sunny Funny Episodes Category:The Dastardly Three Episodes Category:Onion Cream Episodes Category:Rh390110478 Episodes Category:CuldeeFell13 Episodes Category:Endlesspossibilities 2006 Episodes Category:SMG4 Episodes Category:Bread Monster Episodes Category:Fishy Boopkins Episodes Category:Bob Episodes Category:Badman Episodes Category:Brooklyn T. Guy Episodes Category:Simmons Episodes Category:From 2019 Category:Stories by Rh390110478 Category:Red Ribbon Reissues